thanks

tomorrow is thanksgiving eve. do good. i'm a bit scatter-brained this day so any chance a fluid thought would appear in my written word is fleeting. so instead i present a list of all the many things i find a reason to be thankful for. my ability to think. my god. my mom. my dad. my ability to walk. my breath. my freedom. my eyes. my hands. mountains. twigs. reflections. blue sky. my jeep. laughter. touch. honesty. those who are braver than i. those who are wiser than i. those who are more patient than i. pizza. peanut butter. music. babies. sweet tea. risk. reward. ink pens that write well. spoons. a good watch. roller coasters. leaves. air conditioning. fire. heat. watermelon anything. a bed. a blanket. a pillow. old people who are still in love. my soul. turkey. a roof. the cat. cooper. well water. dog slobber.

give thanks to the lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 1 chron 16:8

bell ringer

it was cold last night. bitterly cold. i stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. i had a small list i had written in ink on my arm. i heard her bell. a woman who appeared to be middle-aged, volunteering her time for the salvation army. she had black snow pants on. not for snow, we haven't had any but for warmth. white shoes. a thick red coat that looked like the heaviest rug i've ever seen, and a scarf pulled over top her head. she rang that bell. and rang that bell. and rang that bell some more. it seemed as though she were getting paid per ring. she was full of joy. you could hear it in her voice as she wished each person who walked by her a happy holidays. i thought to myself when i walked by, more bell ringers should be like this woman. until last night it hadn't felt like the holidays. but she exuded what this time of year is all about. i gathered my things in the store, and bundled up for the cold long walk to my car. as i wished her a goodnight and threw a dollar in her red can, the sign above her head caught my eye. it simply read, "doing the most good". i have to admit... i spent most of the ride home thinking about it. doing the most good? how can they say that? how can they claim that their organization does the most good with their monetary donations? i work in advertising. i understand this concept to reach the publics mind. who wouldn't want to donate to a cause that does the most good? but still in my mind it takes away from the child who donates all of his piggy bank earnings, or an elderly man who gives every last bit of his energy to the homeless and in-need in the community. maybe they are doing the most good. who's to say?! and then it hit me. maybe they didn't mean "doing the most good", but instead meant "doing the most... good." it just made sense to me. the most any of us can do. good. what's the most you can do? good. the sky was clear that night... and the moon lit up the sky. they say snow is on the way. the car warmed up quickly and i felt thankful toward whoever invented heat. it seems you learn from an early age to excel. to win in life. to achieve. the degree. the wife. the house. the cars. the kids. all the steps one must go through in order to achieve a level of greatness. in the next few weeks, i will be reminded that the most any of us can do.. is good. 

louie's

cooper was pretty pumped this morning. we played ball for a while... and walked through the woods. i love when all the trees lose their leaves... and the once dark dirty ground becomes a field of ambers, browns, and golds. it was a chilly morning. but a good one. a refreshing one. i had the best asian chicken salad last night at louie's. i couldn't tell you a thing about it. other than it was stunning. 4 and a half hours of stunning. i'm still having plumbing problems. i woke up this morning with a small pond in my bathroom. this is not a feature of my house. i will call a plumber during my lunch hour, and look forward to going broke. the cat woke me up this morning. i'd like to have his voicebox removed. they do that sorta thing, ya know? he's obese... and has been motivation for me to go to the gym. i'm sure he'd get a membership to a fitness center if he could go places. but he's a cat. he sits on the couch. makes noise. eats. and licks himself all day. it snowed a bit this weekend. i'm not ready for that. but a story on friday i look forward to, with a new beard and a warm heart... the winter doesn't look so cold.

spoon fed

I haven't washed dishes in two weeks. ok, that may not be completely true. i have no clean spoons. that's the problem. none. zero. in the past 4 days i have eaten cereal with a gigantic pasta spoon, a soup ladle, measuring spoons and an ice cream scoop. i wish i were joking. the ladle was by far the toughest to maneuver from the bowl to my mouth and required quite a bit of practice in order to master. but master i did. it's amazing just how much cereal one can consume when you enhance the size of your spoon. delicious. cooper and i have an agreement. in the mornings, i let him out of his suite once he has sat for me. he has to sit or he doesn't get out. he always sits. once freed, we walk around the yard... through the woods play some ball and catch the frisbee a few times. every session of his morning playtime is interrupted by what i like to call the 'squat and whizzle'. i have joined him in this morning ritual many a mornings. however, before i leave for the day, and before cooper returns to his suite, he must execute the final transaction. poopy. yes, i said it. poopy. it's a fact of life. cooper must negotiate the release of the chocolate hostage before i depart. most mornings... you will find me standing in the side yard chanting as if a parade were driving by. cooper go poopy... cooper go poopy... cooper go poopy... he understands what i'm saying. he does his thing and runs to his house to be fed. so smart. once i considered legally changing his name to cooper the super duper pooper. i've often wondered how much the sound carries out where i live... is there an older couple while enjoying their morning cup of coffee on the patio look forward to the 7:30 poopy song from the crazy neighbor across the street? i sure hope not. but the thought of it makes me smile. 

commitment

commitment means to pledge to something or someone. this weekend i pledged to run the 500 festival mini marathon on may 2nd, 2009. me and some 34,999 participants will brave the 13.1 mile road course at 7:30 am. this year's theme - fuel the dream. i can't say that i've ever really dreamed about running or fueling for that matter. god did not design me to run. i can do many other things, however running is not one of them. sure, if i was being chased by a bear (which happened once) but why bother otherwise. i have ran the mini marathon 3 times, however it's been a few years since i last participated. my first year went rather well... i think i averaged a 15 minute mile and threw up on myself twice. no worries. mostly gatorade and angel hair pasta from carb-loading the night before. year two... i finished the race. made it to the hospitality tent for a free apple and banana. threw up on myself and passed out. i woke up thirty minutes later on the other side of the campus after being carried via stretcher by a few standby medics. i was hydrated by needles and tubes and found my feet shortly thereafter. i set out a year. figured i had earned it. the third time i ran the mini, and for the first time kept my shirt clean. except for the bloody nipples. i layed in the grass under a tree... and tried to understand what went on in my head at the time of registration. why would i put myself through this? had i forgotten the pain and discomfort i felt the previous years? must have. must have remembered the sense of accomplishment which at the time of finishing far outweighed any foot pain, or cramped side. it's a neat thing to be a part of minus the vaseline. may 2nd i will lace up my kicks and run like the wind... i will stay focused, avoid spandex and dream of fuel.

nevada

it was incredible. always is. we had a great time. met some great people. 'd' for one. i mean... sure let's say that. never pulled a handle, didn't win a dime. regrets? not taking the job when it was offered. would i like the opportunity again. i think so. would do some things differently. the restaurant across the street from our hotel is my favorite. if i knew i was dying tomorrow. 14oz. filet. medium. truffled mac & cheese without a question. we looked good in tuxedos. i owned that town for the night. what a life. today i spent some time in the woods with cooper. they are worlds apart. my life... and the other. i love things about both... but they could never exist at the same time. i guess that's why they say change is inevitable. it is. i feel as though i'm having a hard time letting go this time. i mean. the whole event deeply saddens me... this has nothing to do with much of anything i've previously written... it just feels good to say it. i miss it. there. i'm done. moving on, right? like a parade. i went to a fall parade a few weeks back with my nephews. they didn't throw as much candy from the fire trucks as i had remembered. altogether we salvaged, three pieces of gum... a few dum dums...  and a partially ran over fun sized snickers bar. who decided those were a fun size? i personally prefer the larger ones. up to 2.5 miles most days. trying to become a catch. felt like i once was. those were the days. i fell asleep in a movie theatre last night. threw frisbee with cooper this morning. winterized his suite. tarps to block the cold wind, heated water bowl... i love that dog. he understands me. or pretends to. the best cheeseburger i've ever consumed had a thick slice of grilled pineapple on it. who knew? felt a need to breathe on the third day... and enjoyed my time very much so. it's cold. perhaps warmth is on the way. in some way. 

the results

so... i chose to go to bed last night and forfeit seeing the results of the election. i received a text message shortly after midnight from a friend that read, "welp, the world officially sucks". I knew what that meant. obama won. i find the whole political world rather interesting. most us would despise someone who lies right to our face, however when ones words are finely crafted and delivered in such a convincing way, we tend to overlook any untruth and believe in the possibility that some truth may exist. reports stated obama spent nearly 600 million dollars in the last 4 years to win this election. the office of president of the united states pays $400,000. and we wonder why we find ourselves in economic distress. i felt bad for mccain. what an incredible american hero. and i could've handled seeing palin for the next few years... but alas, i will press on and continue to use big words. i will polish myself like a weathered wingtip and someday choose to become the president of something.